Unfortunately, if you struggle long enough as a Christian artist, you’ll probably eventually go from asking, “Is it because I’m not a good enough artist?” to “Is it because I’m not a good enough Christian?”
Over the past couple of years, I’ve become ever more strongly aware of the power artists have. I’ve been watching other artists and discovering what I want to do and what I don’t want to do with this power. I find in the Christian author community, there are really three approaches people tend to take to making sure their work counts.
An author has a platform. And to make the most responsible and impactful use of it, she needs to be at least one of these three things:
- Teacher: a practical mentor helping others become better for the glory of God
- Preacher: a voice of truth using art to teach moral lessons
- Activist: an advocate using art to raise awareness and inspire action
The Problem
These are all very good things to be. For years, I tried to find out which vocation best suited my skills and personality. I tried teaching. This blog used to be dedicated mainly to writing tutorials and essays detailing what I had learned studying the craft. But honestly, I felt a little bored writing them. What’s more, I didn’t feel qualified since my techniques and insights were constantly changing.
I’ve never been much for preaching through my art. I hope my work reflects eternal truth and provokes thought in my readers, but I’m never sure exactly what I’m trying to say. Most of the time, I’m just vibing with a vibe and hoping it comes out pretty. I’m shallow like that.
Then there’s the big one. It’s pretty much considered irresponsible and cowardly not to be an activist these days. If you have any platform at all, you really need to be speaking out on The Things. There’s way too much wrong in the world for anybody not to. So, of course I needed to be an advocate for justice.
But I did not want to.
And this is where the guilt comes in. I didn’t want to repost things. I didn’t want to join movements. I didn’t want to create propaganda with my art. For a long time, I thought this was wrong of me. They say if you’re silent, you’re part of the problem.
Should I have just done it?
It seemed selfish. It seemed weak and cowardly. I was supposed to style myself as a warrior and dive into the fray wielding my weapon—creative art. I mean, I’m literally a Christian dystopian author. How could I not go into the battle of social and cultural issues? Isn’t that what the genre is for?
But I didn’t want to do that to my art. I didn’t want to be known for my views and opinions. I didn’t even want to be known for my morals. (!?) I’m not a role-model and I wouldn’t want anyone looking up to me as a standard—for literally anything. I didn’t want to use my platform to put my creative life on display as an illustration of my ideology. The thought of taking the stage that way paralyzed my brain.
People would start following me for my beliefs and my stances on issues rather than for my work. My career would be swallowed up. Sure, I would probably get a lot more attention if I spoke on hot-button topics. But it would almost certainly destroy my love for sharing my art.
But if I didn’t take a stand, was I really doing anything for my true mission here on earth? Was I ignoring God’s call? Was I rendering my work meaningless?
More than anything, I wanted God to use my work. Could He still use it if I refused to teach, preach, or fight for justice?
The Entertainer
Entertainment. Pop-culture. Distractions from what really matters in life. I engage in it pretty much every day—always chasing that temporary high of a song with a great beat-drop or an atmosphere that gets me out of this monotonous headache called reality. I want to laugh and dream and borrow emotions from other people’s hearts until I can feel again. I want somebody to articulate things I couldn’t quite grasp before and remind me I’m not alone.
What a waste of time.
And yet, it was in the middle of my time-wasting that I discovered something that would begin to open my eyes to my true mission as a creative. God showed me something beautiful—something that gave me hope and a new sense of meaning for what he was asking me to do.
And who did He use to reveal this to me?
A kpop idol.
Doing it all wrong
This was not the correct way for me to learn deep truths, was it? Somebody should have told God that’s not how it’s supposed to be done. You don’t use messed-up, secular pop star boys in heavy eyeliner to inspire revelations. Well, who’s gonna tell Him that?
Turns out He can use whatever He wants. Even artists who aren’t teachers, preachers, or activists. He can use people who might never even have invited Him into their creative work. He can work through anyone. And he does. He probably works through everyone, at least once.
I was sitting around worrying that somehow my art wasn’t going to point anyone to God and would languish in meaningless darkness until it disappeared in the ashes of time. I thought maybe it was because I was too greedy or jealous, or scared, or self-absorbed to do what I was meant to do.
I thought I was going to completely fail because I didn’t follow a very particular method of using my platform and beating my work into a very particular mold and He dropped an artist from an extremely different situation in front of my face and showed me something no one in the Christian author community ever could have.
Something Beautiful
Art can be used in many ways. Yes, it can preach truth or inspire action. It can be a powerful vehicle for driving the culture in a certain direction or bringing injustices to light. But that’s not all it was meant to do.
I could rant for a lot longer about what I think entertainment could be if more Christians would realize it had value in itself. It might be a bit of a controversial opinion, but I’m not sure we were supposed to focus on the dead-seriousness of life every waking minute. Of course, retreating into the world of entertainment can be overdone. Everything can be overdone. Even doing good work in the real world will eventually burn you to the ground if you never step back from it. Constant battle has destroyed too many people.
Art can be a means of deep connection to lift spirits, ease loneliness, and bring attention to things the world tries to rush past. We need the escape and the playfulness it can offer. We can grow and learn through the secret doors it opens inside us.
Ultimately, art is communication. For me, it’s a way to reach out to a world that is becoming increasingly more isolated, alienated, segregated and alone and tell anyone who’s listening they’re still alive. There’s still hope, still laughter, still room for dreamers. And I want to show them something.
I want to show them something I saw in my mind. It was fascinating. It was beautiful. Maybe it even meant something, I don’t know. But I want to share it. And that’s why I’m going to start sharing it right here.
The New UnsweetenedDarjeeling.com
In the next post, I’ll be talking in detail about what to expect from this blog from now on. But I’ll give you a quick preview here.
I’m going to branch out into a fuller range of arts. You’re going to get to see drawings and paintings and multimedia work that you’ve never seen before. There are also going to be an ongoing fiction series…but I won’t spoil anything! Stay tuned.
I’m aware that I might lose some of my audience here. I’m not going to be running a traditional author blog anymore. Like I mentioned, I’m not as interested in writing tutorials and essays about writing. It just isn’t where I am in my artist’s journey. I don’t feel like I know much anymore. But that’s fine with me, because I’ll finally get to start sharing my real love with the world—the art itself.
I hope you enjoy it.