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Social Media

Why I Quit Instagram

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that an unknown indie author trying to gain a readership must be in want of a social media presence.

Social media has become so central to any business plan, you sound crazy the moment you question if it’s actually necessary. Of course it is. In fact, normal people who aren’t trying to promote a book can’t seem to do without it. It makes you less normal if you try to give it up.

Don’t like it? Learn to deal with it. You simply can’t go without social media if you want to gain any traction in this world. Just pick one and stick to it. Post every day. How hard can it be?

Well…we’ll get to that. But let’s start with what I used to think and see how the story goes from there.

Reasons I believed I needed social media:

Platform

You have to have a platform if you want an audience. In the modern world social media just happens to be the most obvious place to collect your people. It’s also very easy to judge how you’re doing by the numbers. Everybody likes that.

Community

This is a huge buzzword. If somebody uses the word “community,” you basically can’t argue with them anymore. Community is literally the most important thing. You literally will evaporate in direct sunlight if you don’t have it as an artist. I’ve seen this happen. And where do you find your community? Social media.

Social proof

People won’t like you unless you’re already popular. Social media is a great way for anyone wondering if they should stan you to just do a quick search and find out what other people think. Most people can’t decide what they like without other people telling them, so—social media.

Staying top-of-mind

See, this is the other thing. Apparently, people won’t think about anything unless it’s right in front of their glassy eyeballs—preferably on a small screen. If you want to live rent-free in anybody’s shabby-chic attic space, you have to pop up in their notifications every single day. You will be evicted and forgotten otherwise, so get on the ticktoks and start lip-syncing like an idiot.

Lastly, it’s free, it’s accessible, and everybody else is doing it. Why not?

Why not?

The downward spiral

Because it almost always takes a turn, that’s why.

Actually, I was always skeptical of social media. It wasn’t until February of 2020 I finally dived into Instagram. It was pretty fun at first, but as I started to accumulate a follower and following list, the pressure began to build.

At first, I told myself it would be worth it. I would find my people here, make connections, grow my readership. I wouldn’t be alone in my work anymore. The stress that came with it was just part of the job.

But the demand for content was becoming draining. Shutting off my creative brain and mass-batching piles of easy-reading captions was not a skill I had. I’m not really a “thought-of-the-day” person. This may surprise you, but sometimes I go days without having any thoughts at all.

I had to do it for the books

The deep desire to see my books reach their audience was at the heart of all this. It was like a toxic marriage holding out for the sake of the kids. But the sad truth was, it wasn’t doing much for readership. Not for the books. Not for this blog.

Something people don’t often acknowledge is the fact that people on social media rarely get off. That is, if you leave a link to your latest blog post in your story, most if not all the people watching will just tap through to the next story. Secondly, people will follow other people on Instagram and never bother to find them anywhere else. They simply don’t care that much.

My conversion rates were a flatline. My followers were not buying. Okay. So maybe it’s not about conversion. Maybe it really is about community.

Toxic conditions develop

Even in the best communities, social media is a breeding-ground for toxicity. And some people can swim right through the polluted waters and never so much as break out. Then there are those who literally die.

But the toxins build up in users minds. For me, it was that constant buzz of productivity, hustle, success. It was the noise of other authors who seemed to do everything correctly against all odds. Not only that, they also held all the correct opinions, and, being wordsmiths, were excellent at sharing them.

Not only was everyone always on the ball in their author lives, they also knew what mattered in the rest of life and were doing quite well in those departments too. And the stories ran on and on—these other authors were quick to display their checked-off to-do lists at 11 a.m., their Bible-study routines, their day-jobs, their family lives, their “hectic” yet somehow flawless schedules were constantly blurring through my exhausted brain.

Now and then I stopped to wonder why people needed to share all those things with the world. It’s all very boring to watch from the outside. And what does it have to do with anything? But all these other authors were what I was supposed to be. I should be doing the same thing myself.

I tried harder–it got worse

But I had to keep up. A breakthrough was just around the corner if I could just survive the turn. Afterall, I hadn’t been on Instagram long at all compared to many people. People who were patient and showed stamina eventually blew up. People who spoke out on the right things and had their hearts in the right place were rewarded. They would find their people. They would grow. They were putting in a lot more work than I was.

You get what you earn. I was just underperforming. If you’re a good steward of what you have, you’ll be given more. I saw it preached again and again by accounts that were doing well. There was no secret. I just needed to try harder.

Then one day, I realized I didn’t want to. I had nearly lost my desire to do anything at all. My writing was suffering. I was overworking and isolating myself. Whenever I tried to do anything else I felt guilty for not working on my Instagram. I was addicted to checking in on the community, desperately trying to stay current on other authors’ accomplishments to make up for the fact I had nothing to say about my own.

Long and short of it was, I had to choose between my sanity and creative happiness and the Instagram community. My physical and mental health was collapsing, and I was closer than ever to completely losing my author career.

So, I quit.

What happened when I quit?

Silence

It felt weird. For years I had always been up to date on this circle of authors’ daily progress. I always knew what projects were about to launch and what challenges people were participating in. Now, there was nothing. There was me and my offline laptop shut away in my room trying to write.

I had been sort of living vicariously through them. Their forward motion created a sense of movement in my creative life, even though my wheels were spinning. Now I was alone with my own stillness.

Loneliness

Social media creates a sense of togetherness in isolated people. Cut it off and what have you got? Nothing, it turns out. Instagram doesn’t really miss you when you’re gone. And I realized how I probably wouldn’t have even gotten into that circle in real life. It’s nothing against them. It’s just true. I don’t get into circles in real life.

I realized how much I had been missing my family. I was always alone. These cyber voices coming from the distance had distracted me from the fact that I was far too alone. I should have spent more time with my family. No wonder I was depressed.

Confusion

I was pretty disoriented. For years I had been pushing toward the goal of breaking into the online author community, believing it was the key to success. Now, I had to rethink my strategy.

Maybe teaming up with a big band of peers was the only way my life’s dream could ever become a reality. But I had given that up. I still wanted to be an author. I didn’t know what to do.

Frustration

My writing was trash. It took forever. The final product was haphazard and unprofessional. Why would anybody read it?

I had hoped all my artistic frustrations would magically dissolve when I quit Instagram somehow. Of course, they didn’t. They didn’t live on Instagram, they lived in my head.

Introspection

Who am I as a creative? What am I truly trying to do?

I started to ask myself questions. If I had five thousand five-star reviews on Goodreads and Amazon, what would I still be striving for? Not six thousand. That was the wrong answer. Was I doing something wrong by not trying to link my books to relevant issues and push my readers to take action against the injustices of today? Were my stories unimportant? Was I just too self-centered as an author?

Finally, I asked myself the real question:

If Jesus were coming within the next few years, what should I be doing?

And the answer came back loud and clear: I needed to finish the Dronefall series.

Inspiration

I didn’t try to analyze why. Maybe my work is important for reasons I can’t even see. I suppose, to an extent, that’s true of everyone. It’s hard to see why anything matters sometimes, but if God tells you to do it, it matters. At this point, I had one book left to write in the Dronefall series. I could do this. I had finished the other five. It was time to write.

And beyond that, it was time to rethink UnsweetenedDarjeeling.com. It was still important to me. But it still seemed to be entirely unimportant to everyone else out there. I began to shift my plan. I shouldn’t be writing an author-instruction type blog. I needed to try something different.

More on that to come.

Can an author and blogger survive without social media?

We have yet to see how this goes. I just got back from my 9-month blogging hiatus. I’m still working on book 6 of my series. But I can tell you, even with the increased uncertainty hanging over my head having quit Instagram, my vision is clearer. My inspiration is returning. I’m entering a new stage in my adventure.

I’ll post on how this is working for me from time to time. I hope you stay around to watch.

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