In the online community, there’s a lot of discussion about being honest. Being authentic. Not creating a fake idealized image of yourself to present to the world.
And yet, whether or not you straight-up lie on social media, you’re going to be faking it to some degree. Maybe not actually faking it, but you’re going to be curating it. You are going to be presenting yourself a certain way, and you’re not going to be %100 transparent. Ever.
But is that a bad thing? If you’re a creative, you have a certain understanding that art is probably over half presentation. You choose and refine how you present your subject matter. Dumping a truckload of bricks doesn’t result in a great work of architecture. For the same reason, carefully selecting that kinds of things you share online is not just in your nature as an artist, it’s actually the smart move when you’re running a social media presence that will be connected to your work.
Being Human Online
In case you haven’t noticed, cyberspace isn’t like the physical world. The gurus will say you need to be human on social media. What they won’t tell you is there’s a slightly different strain of humanity that rears its head there. It has the attention span of a goldfish, it gets offended like a nest of hornets, it misunderstands everything, and it needs everyone’s attention 24/7.
Nobody is human online. That’s okay, but it also means you need to think twice or three times about how you present yourself if you want to survive, keep your friends, and build your reputation on the right things.
When it comes down to it, you really don’t want to share too much of your “true self.”
Reasons why you might not want to share too much of yourself:
- Privacy—duh
You don’t owe anyone vulnerability. That’s the hard truth. You have a right to keep certain things—anything you want—to yourself. You also don’t have to explain why. Some of it might be for your personal safety, other things could just be details you don’t feel the need to share. You might consider them unhelpful or distasteful to your audience. Or you might just be shy and reclusive. You are allowed to have those personality traits. A lot of artists do.
- Pressure
Sometimes I feel like I have to give updates on all my projects and tell everyone approximately how soon I hope to get them done. I really want to break this habit, because it puts a lot of totally unnecessary pressure on me. Unless I’m collaborating with someone, nobody really needs that information. I’m just setting up deadlines and forcing myself to feel like my whole audience is holding me accountable, when in fact, nobody really cares that much.
Which brings me to…
- The real risk of boring people
Okay, I know it sounds harsh, but one of the fastest ways to bore people is to talk about yourself. And the more detailed it gets, the less people ae inclined to hear you out. And you also need to pay attention to the interests of your niche. Why would anybody care what you ate today? If you’re not a health and nutrition blogger, your followers are just going to wonder what that’s got to do with anything.
I know in the age of social media, with everyone essentially making reality tv-shows out of their day-to-day existence, a lot of people have lost their sense of what should be their business only. I thought of a little test you can use that might put that in perspective.
What if the paparazzi were the ones behind the camera?
It becomes really annoying/creepy when you think about it that way. Beat it! I’m just trying to eat lunch. I’m at the gym, get off my back, would ya? I’ve had a terrible day and am literally shut in my bedroom crying—Cut. The. Cameras.
Set some hard boundaries for yourself if you ever feel pressured to overshare online. Choose some things you just won’t broadcast and stick to it. What kinds of things?
Things you might want to consider keeping to yourself:
- Family news
Some people feel okay about updating the whole world on not just their own milestones and significant events, but also those of their family members. I draw a line here. I might not even tell Instagram if I get married—I certainly won’t be sharing endless carousels and reels of wedding pictures. It’s very standard for most people, but I’m also a little uncomfortable with the way people post pictures and updates on their babies and kids. Unless I have a private personal account, I won’t be doing that. It’s not going to happen on my author account—ever.
- Physical and mental health
Another one I choose to avoid. It’s different if you’re a health and wellness account and the information is relevant—otherwise, that’s personal information. As an author, you won’t catch be babbling on about my latest illness, doctor’s visits, or how much weight I’ve gained or lost over the summer. My mental wellbeing is also something I prefer to keep to a very limited circle of people who care the most and could actually help me if I needed something. Though these things can affect my art and my productivity, I don’t think it’s something we should feel like we have to explain to our audience. They know we’re humans. We don’t have to prove it.
- Travel plans
These first three points are debatable, and whether or not you share on these topics will depend on your niche. If you’re a mommy blogger it might be logical (within certain common-sense limits) to share about your kids. If you’re a health blogger, it would make sense to discuss your own health journeys. If you’re a travel-blogger, you’re probably going to talk a lot about your travels. But there is actually a practical precaution to take when you’re telling the world where you’re going to be, and when. It can become a safety issue, so use discretion.
- Uncertain plans
Remember what I mentioned about putting unnecessary pressure on yourself? This one is hard for me, because I get very enthusiastic over newly-formed plans and if they relate to my niche—as they often do—I will be very tempted to go on Instagram and scream about them to everybody. Guys, guys, guys! I’m gonna do a thing! Read all about it! But I also change plans and timelines for plans every other day. It’s like making a promise and not being able to keep it. Even if my audience doesn’t really care, it takes the wind out of my sails and makes me feel unprofessional. I’m working on this one. Though I think a lot of creatives probably relate to my slightly manic tendencies.
- Every little up and down
Once again—you owe it to no one to prove you’re human. If they don’t assume as much, that’s their problem, not yours. You don’t have to get on stories everyday and tell everybody exactly what you’re doing and how you feel about it every other hour. You’re having a blissful afternoon? Great. Enjoy it. You’re down in the dumps again? I actually recommend you stay as far away from social media as you can, in that case. It won’t help. Your son’s team won? Your cousin is getting engaged and you now feel like a languishing old maid, alas, alack? You’ll process all these things better without worrying about likes and comments, trust me.
- Controversial opinions
What?! Not share controversial opinions on social media? Isn’t that what social media is for? Dividing people along ideological lines and having silent screaming matches with total strangers? Okay, so the truth is, every opinion will offend somebody, so this one can’t be completely avoided. But as an artist, I’ve prioritized being known for my work, not my opinions. If you want to be one of those artists who addresses “issues” you can do that. But choose your issues wisely, and don’t pick every possible fight. You will burn out and you will make a lot of enemies. Also, hold whatever opinions you want, but if you want to take a stand on something, make sure it’s something you don’t mind being permanently associated with. You may want to be known as an advocate for adoption, but you might not want to be too loud and outspoken on your hearty support of capital punishment, for example.
The value of mystery and art speaking for itself
One more thing. Doesn’t anybody care about being mysterious?
Aren’t people who have their secrets, lead lives of their own, and maybe don’t voice their opinions at every opportunity automatically cooler? No?
For me, and maybe for you too, I want to be known for my work. I write books. I want people to find out about me when they read them. That way, I can share my thoughts and feelings with the world by a process that lets people experience them, not just hear about them. But most of all, I want my art to be about something bigger than me and the details of my own journey. It should be something that helps people understand themselves, the world and God.
You can make your online presence an extension of that. And as a result, you can see yourself as creating art every time you compose a new post on Instagram. And your art is whatever you want it to be.